i went to the ymca today. i went from 2:30 till 5. i did a lot of work and a lot of looking around . im all sore now though i mite have over done it. i just wanna lose weight really bad - i have prom and other things and i just want it all gone! i know my friends tell me im fine not to worrie about it.. but i wanna look in the miror and say ok - now i look good. and like i don't hate all my body .. mostly just my stomach and a little of my thys thats mostly it. so to lose weight in my stomach in thys would make me really happy.

had a talk online with someone that made me really upset.. but lauren and nick and patrick all fixed that - they really are good listeners <3*

sooo mad - lauren told me today was Dave g's bday and i had no idea. he didnt even tell me - and i even took money from him today.. now i feel bad, tomorrow im going to give him a big hug and maybe pay him back.

um now - i dont know what else to write .. tomorrow i mite go to the ymca again and then babysitting and then over lizze's to sleep over and then saturday we are going to the mall im treating her for her bday. since i love her so much.!!!

lots of love <3 `ash *

weekend was good. friday was awsome - saturday was alrite - and today i'm just chillen / relaxing / doing homework.

ne ways - i don't feel like doing a complete update.. cause there is tooo much to even talk about. but i will leave you with a song. my so called " little sister " luann found this song and said it described mine and joe's relationship completly. and i agree that it does. so here it is ::

CELINE DION LYRICS

"I Love You, Goodbye"

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never ganna work out
I love you, goodbye

i'm out - laterz <3

     love.. ashley *  

ever since friday - everything i do i hate. i can't make up my mind or stick with one thing. friday nite was good hanging out with sha cait jeff pat and karas. they made me feel better. saturday i woke up and pretty much did nothing at all. dad rented some movies and i watched a few. got on the phone with a couple of people and talked for awhile. then around 1in the morning i called joe - i thought i could handle talking to him.. but i guess not cause i ended up crying and getting off the phone. i was soo upset so i called my friend crissy.. she gave me good advice. i love you crissy! now today - me and joe talking more .. i miss him but what i am doing is right. its just hard.. very hard. i went and shoveled already, thank god i don't have school tomorrow cause i know on tuesday everyone's going to ask me what happened and i'm not going to be ready to deal with it all. i'm watching a football game right now to get my mind off of everything going on - i hope soon that me and him can be the same and now be wierd with eachother.

i'm out for now - love, ash*

Luann - me and you .. always will have eachother, here for you no matter what i know what you are going through and we will both get better. i love you little sister <3

friday was my last day of exams. i was happy nick said he would take me home and then we had to take this other girl home in middlebury and then we went to wendy's with him this kid dave and this other kid tim, it was fun. i came home and decided that i didnt wanna go to dance so i slept instead or at least tried to.. but it didnt work.

then i went to sha's house with cait pat jeff and karas. we watched napolin dynamite - that shit was funny!! then we watched some of house of the dead.. it was pretty gay so when the boys left we went upstairs to sha's room and just talked. at 11 i left and that was pretty much my day.

me and joe broke up - that was another thing. yea .. don't really feel like talking about that tho. * i'm sorry *

peace out! love, ash*

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