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8:11 pm
one year
Its been a year. one extremely long and fucked up year. one year older, one year wiser. That is the saying, right? I can not think about the decisions I ve made over the year and say they been wiser. I've gained alot over the year but I've lsot so much more. I've gained a job, a car, responsibality, family that for some reason I gave up on, new friends and fond memories. I've my childhood, kindness, joy, happiness and love. I falling into a life of mediocracy and Im content with it. For now it allows me to forget those who are no longer around and focus on the path. Thinking back now I realize the one constant I've had the whole time, my friends. I could count on one hand the amount of true friends I have. "Friends" seems like an inadequate word to say when describing them. The right word would be brothers. I dont know if they thin kthe same but I know I would help anyone of them need be and ask nothing in return. Friends are the only thing I had close to immidate family untill recently when I got into contact wwith my dad and went to his house every weekend just to live in a stable environment, unlike what I call home.Soon Ill have to get my own place but I fear doing that because of onething. If I get my own place then Ill be on my own....alone. I fear that Ill always be alone. It seems that the idea of a soulmate or signifigant other is something that I wont get to experience. Maybe I ment to be alone my life who knows. Its not going to bother me anylonger. If i ment to be alone so be it. Im out of here
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10:15 pm
woot
ok i just updated and everything got changed. check it out and tell me
what you think. i love the back ground as big as it is its still
awesome.
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6:27 am
sigh....graduation was saturday and now my brithday is today. I
dont know what to do ...WITH ALL THIS MONEY Woot. so I bought the new white stripes cd. oh well, now for a little something.....
If you think that a kiss is all in the lips
C'mon, you got it all wrong, man
And if you think that our dance was all in the hips
Oh well, then do the twist
If you think holding hands is all in the fingers
Grab hold of the soul where the memory lingers and
make sure to never do it with the fingers
Cause I'll tell everyone in the world
But he was thinking about the girl
Ya, but he's thinking about the girl, oh
A lot of people get confused and they bruise
Real easy when it comes to love
They start putting on their shoes and walking out
And singing "boy, I think I had enough"
Just because she makes you feel wrong
She don't mean to be mean or hurt you on purpose, boy
Take a tip and do yourself a little service
Take a mountain turn it into a mole
Just by playing a different role
Ya, by playing a different role, oh
The boat ya you know she's rockin' it
And the truth well ya know there's no stoppin' it
So what, somebody left you in a rut
And wants to be the one who's in control
But the feeling that you're under can really make you wonder
How the hell she can be so cold
So now you're mad, denying the truth
And it's getting in the wisdom in the back of your tooth
Ya need ta spit it out, in a telephone booth
While ya call everyone that you know, and ask 'em....
Where do you think she goes
Oh ya, where d'ya suppose she goes, oh
The truth well you know there's no stoppin' it
And the boat well ya know she's still rockin' it
You recognize with your back in the back?
That it's colder when she rocks the boat
But it's the cause hittin on the Cardinal Laws?
'bout the proper place to hang her coat
So to you, the truth is still hidden
And the soul plays the role of a lost little kitten but
You should know that the dark is one kitten?
She's been singing it all along
But you were hearin' a different song
Ya you were hearin' a different song
But you were hearin' a different song
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5:16 pm
borred. help?
I only updating right now because I am at a point beyond bored. So to cure my bordom I set out on a quest to find music to listen. So if anyone knows good bands or singers that are not really well let me know. I really need some music to listen. |
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7:57 pm
a days thought
Today? how can I possably describe how today went? today was just ....
disapointing. In all its glory today had to be the most disapointing
day this week. I have been Ignored, insulted, belittled, yelled at and
for some reason everyone picked today to blame their troubles on me. It
was just fucking lovly. Sure its easy to blame the one guy that stands
out. The nice guy that would lend a hand at any costs. The guy who does
nothing but help and care. Nobody thanks him for what he has done. No
one bothers to think hey maybe he too needs help . No one stops to ask
whats wrong with him. Everyone thinks his life is just wonderfull and
its not like he expects people to return the same kindness and respect.
Well I do. I think its owed to me after everything Ive done for
everyone else the least I ask for is respect. Thats just my thinking
and of corse everything I think is wrong. There was something else I
felt today, Death. A part of me died today. The part of me that people
were good in nature. The part of me that was naieve enough to believe
that people see you as how you treat others. I look back now and Im
glad that part of me died today. From now on I live my life on how I
see fit and how itll benefit me and the 1 or 2 people that are actually
close to me. Today I died and disapeared into the crowd of normality
and stupidity that so many seem fit to live in. Maybe then I can be
happy and be normal. Then again what exactaly is normal. Who defines
normal. People with all the power and money. Why aloow them to label
what normal is. They reason for them to label us normal would be
because it would put them above normal in a place where people with
money and power have even more power. If thats the situation at hand
then I refuse to be normal for the sole purpose that I refuse to live
under anyone elses control. In any case the are just the day worth of
ramblings that go through my thoughts. I dont care that people dont
read them or if they just dont care but i had to release the tension
even if it was such a small amount because it will stop from eroding my
mind and soul for that much longer. |
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1:16 pm
idk
I just dont know what to do anymore my life is shit right now. Im so
confused about so many things its all just clouding my head. I need to
be along for awhile but people just keep pestering me about everything.
I dont know what to do. Im going insane.
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5:47 pm
New MSi cd
I go the new MSI cd yesterday and the shit is roxin. Its all i listened to yesterday......"SHould I talk slower then your a retard, Should I talk slower like your retarded!" |
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2:17 pm
Stabbing westward - Angel
I believed that love was sacred
as I dove blindly into her sea
But soon that warm embrace felt more like drowning
as endless waves crashed over me
She was an insatiable black hole feeding off my mind and off my soul
I found love humiliating a sick and desperate need that drains me
God I hope I never feel again
(Chorus)
But I've never been loved by an angel
I've never felt anything so pure
I've never been loved by an angel
until tonight when your heaven filled my world
She showed me love could lift me higher
with a kiss she repaired these broken wings
She revived my failing spirit restored my faith in everything
I have never felt I had a home even in a crowd I felt alone
I'd almost given up on life I believe it's all a lie
And never thought I'd ever feel again
(Chorus)
I believed in nothing but you believe in me
I thought that life was worthless but you tell me I'm a star
(Chorus) |
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11:08 am
radiohead - creep
When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice, when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here, ohhh ohhhh
She's running out again....
She's running out, she's run, run, run, run....run....
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here |
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4:46 pm
no more
no more spring break for me. all the parties are dun adn ive had my fun. no to wait till this weekend. well im strill bored and gonna go ....be ... not ...bored. . . yeah. PEACE! |
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12:12 pm
Ah
well its now time for spring break so ima be partying it like a biotch. later poeple. |
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8:43 pm
fun
You are a drumstick.
Absolutely insane. That is how most would describe you. You aren't afraid to take risks, and enjoy putting yourself in strange situations. Most people hang out with you because of your hilarious sense of humour. You light up any bad situation, and can help all of your friends with their problems, except for your own. Because of this, you enjoy being around people like you. Many shut you out for your very weird, random personality, but honestly, you shouldn't care.
Most compatible with: Guitar, and another drumstick.
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8:27 pm
woot
We want fun and you better believe it!
We want fun either take it, or leave it!
We want fun, and we're gonna get pasted!
We want to have fun, and we want to get wasted!
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4:40 pm
my art
since i started drawing again check out http://silvas.deviantart.com/ |
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6:03 pm
woot
ahhhh yeah. today is the best today in a long. school has become a breeze no more essays or papers. Today I got to talk to my girl. Finally got Devil May Cry 3(its a must have) and just got some of the best music out there. Well later folks. Im off to go in my room, sit on my couch and relax for the night. why cant mondays always bee like this. all I need now is some white castle. |
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6:15 pm
Franz Ferdinand - come on home
Although my lover lives
In a place that I can't live
I kind of find I like a life
This lonely
It rips and pierces me
In places I can't see
I love the rip of nerves
The rip that wakes me
So I'm dissatisfied
I love to satisfy
I love to feel as though there's more that I need
So come on home
So come on home
So come on - home home
You're where you want to be
I'm where I want to be
Come on we're chasing
Everything we've ever wanted
I Replace you easily
Replace pathetically
I flirt with every flighty thing
That falls my way
But how I needed you
When I needed you
Let's not forget
We are so strong
So bloody strong
Come on home
So come on home
So come on - home, home
Blue light falls
Upon your perfect skin
Falls and you draw back again
Falls and this is how I fell
And I cannot forget
I cannot forget
Come on home
So come on home
But don't forget to leave
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1:19 pm
FUCKIN DAMNIT
Yeah im pissed, just found out that Naruto has been licensed in North and Latin America. All I can say is the better not mess up the dub like they normally do. They had better get honest to god good voice actors. |
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2:56 pm
I feel like....
CRAP! Stupid cold. Im actually starting to think that my body is dead and my mind is feeding off it. Thats how crappy i feel right now. |
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7:30 pm
Lady
I'm crazy for this little lady
I'm freaking for my little baby
'Cause she makes me feel good
She's so fine
Don't need all my other ladies
I'm beggin' for this little lady
'Cause I tell you she's cool
She's divine
I know she's a super lady
I'm weak and I've gone hazy yeah
I'm crazy for that lady
She's chic but she's not shady yeah
Sophisticated lady
And she makes me feel good
She's so fine
Never knew there was such a lady
That would make me want to straighten
Out my life at this time but I find
I'm thinkin' 'bout this pretty lady
I would love her good as my own baby (?)
'Cause you know she's no fool
She's refined
I know she's a super lady
I'm weak and I've gone hazy yeah
I'm crazy for that lady
She's chic but she's not shady yeah
Sophisticated lady
And she makes me feel good
She's so fine
Yeah
Don't you know she blows my mind
All the time
'Cause she makes me feel good
Like a real woman should
Yeah
She's so mine
Yeah
I'm weak and I've gone hazy yeah
I'm crazy for that lady
She's chic but she's not shady yeah
Sophisticated lady
And she makes me feel good
And she makes me feel good
And she makes me feel good
She's so fine
Yeah
Don't you know she blows my mind
All the time
And she makes me feel good
Like a real woman should
Yeah
All the time
Yeah
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
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9:34 pm
Giving in - Adema
Will you, walk me
To the edge again
Shaking, lonely, and I am drinking again
Woke up tonight and no one's here with me
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Caught up, in life
Losing all my friends
Family has tried, to heal all my addictions
Tragic it seems, to be alone again
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
(Oh fuck)
I look forward, to dying tonight
Drinks still on myself, life's harder every day
The stress has got me
I'm giving in
Giving
Giving in now!
Take me under
(I'm killing all the faith)
I'm dying tonight
(I'm sick of all that faith)
Watch me crumble
(I'm killing all the faith)
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
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7:54 pm
aighht
Alright people, I went and updated everything. Enjoy!
oh and ill be back to posting lyrics soon. |
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2:20 pm
WOOT
15 hours of sleep. Gootta love SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW DDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYS |
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12:56 pm
skool sux
well school suxed and I got bored.....so i left early. Now im home eatin lunch not being bored....worked out fine. |
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2:10 pm
new years
Well I feel recharged for this new year. At 10 last night I found a party and by 11 I was fuckin wasted and at 3 I was sleepin. It was a good end to a crappy year. Heres to a better year. |
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9:19 pm
yeah i know 3 in one day
"It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love" - Red Hot Chili Peppers, Under the Bridge-
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