Yeah... Still no mouse...  *shrugs*

My gpa is taking Jacie and me down to Arkansas this weekend when he goes...  It's gonna be kick ass!!

Idno when I'm going to add my next blog...  Without a mouse, using my browser is extremely troublesome...

Yeah... My mouse isnt working at all...  Its completely broken...  Keyboard commands suck...

Not much to say, save that Brits, and AmIdol, blows all ass...  Your voice doesn't even matter in the second round...  They don't give you a second glance if you dont have the looks they want...  WTF is with that?!  Stupid bull shit ppl...

Wow... This dimension must be really boring...

Anyways...  Yeah.. Last blog for a few days...  Shes coming to get me at like 4-4:30, and were gonna be out tonight for a little bit, then shes picking me up at 330 IN THE MORNING!  If thats not early, Idno what is....

HAPPY 18TH JAYCELYN!! I LOVE YOU!!!

IM SO HAPPY!!!!!!

Tomorrow is JayCelyns 18th birthday, and Im going to spend the entire day with her...  I think were going to the mall... She thinks Ill get bored... XD  The mall is kinda... well.... its just my disorder.... i cant be around too many ppl.... but with her, everything seems lighter and less painful....

And then Saturday, THRU sunday, im gonna be with her, cuz shes trying out for American Idol, and Im staying in line with her... :-)

*dances for joy

Yep... spent the day with JayCe again yesterday :-D

And Saturday, as well as Sunday, were going to be together cuz she wants me to stay in line with ehr for when she goes to try out for American Idol, I know with all my heart shes going ot make it... she has the most beautiful voice ever.......  *sighs*

Not much else.....  chattin with her right now......

cyz

I cant wait to be with my JayCe again tomorrow... She spent the day today here :-D   Were gonna go see The Village :-D

People are so dumb...  Its not my place to say so, but I really do hate everyone...  Of the millions of millions of people out there, its so hard to find someone you can trust and love....  Humanity as a whole is descending rapidly into hell on earth...

I want my JayCelyn...

I spent most of the day with my JayCelyn today. :-D   A Youth Rally at our church took place yesterday and today. :-)  ...I love her so much... Not giving it much thought, cuz thats kinda wrong, but comparing, in general, the relationship Ive had with JayCelyn to the one with Sarah; it's as if all those seven months with Sarah meant nothing compared to this, not even a full month, with JayCelyn...  theres so much more feeling when we arent led by the desires of the flesh...

And then there's my other half...  Ya know, there's a little disorder called 'Bipolar'...  It's terrible, and I mean it...  People without it may just kind of look at you (those of you out there that may have it), and think you're one of those that just take simple things and blow them way out a proportion, or that you want attention because you're trying to gain the attention of others with sighs, and complaints, and cries... That's not it at all...  Most of us want to be left alone...  We want help that cannot be found...  And... Like my mom, I have kinda been falling into momentary stages of depression and anxiety again lately, and she thinks that my internet is the problem, and that I'm not getting enough sleep, so she threatens to sever my LAN line...  I tell her I'm depressed, and she asks why...  Like she demands to know the reason...  Depression needs no reason... It just happens... And when it wants to...  Doctors say there is a cure, or at least a treatment, but is there really one?  I know, with all my soul, that I have Bipolar Disorder, because I know me more than these doctors do, but every single one I've ever been to is too dense to see anything but the fact that I'm another one of those lab rats primed and ready to test some new drug...

I wrote a poem...  I used to be good at that, but I've not written in so long..........

:::::   :::::   :::::   :::::   :::::

Alone in the black corner of his sanctum,

a man meditates within the void of his anxiety.

The curtain of pain and anguish rises,

and the show begins...

The sound of harmonious music lures him,

and he turns to find himself on the stage,

dressed in robes of black,

and a deep cowl hiding the crimson tears

he knows he'll find if the hood rises.

Behind him, in the shadows,

rings the shrill cry of a cackling demon,

mocking his every judgment,

driving every painful stake home with its shouts.

The man cries out in agony,

and buries his head in his hands,

only to find that his once peaceful void,

his only sanctuary of seclusion,

is overrun with pain and rage...

:::::   :::::   :::::   :::::   :::::

Yep... Was sposed to spend the day with my JayCe as her teddy bear... Got called off :-( *sighs* she wont be over until like 5:30 or 6:00...  oh well...  at least well be together for a little while...

N2mE...  >_< 

Got to see my JayCelyn tonight ^_^   Wasn't for too long, but then, it's never truly long enough....

Her family is so torn up.... *sighs* I can never elp but feel I'm not too entirely helpful, however much she says im the best thing in her life right now...  *sighs*

N2mE...  Probably gonna reinstall Rilphia Saga and go play, then go to bed...

Thats going to be my title for all of my Blogs now...  At least for a while... :-D

Not too much is going on here, just kinda feel like adding a Blog for the hell of it...

:::::   :::::   :::::   :::::   :::::

Wearing-- Dungarees and an orange shirt

Listening to-- Various Ayumi Hamasaki and Utada Hikaru music

Mood-- Does it ever change?  It's just kinda 'whatever'

:::::   :::::   :::::   :::::   :::::

Yep...  Still Bored...

>gasp!<                 ^ MY FIRST EMOTICON!!!   OH NO!!!!

*Runs and hides

Yes Yes...  I'm finally back...

I know how much all of you hate me, or did at one time, but I still don't think I care... ^_^

Sarah and I broke up on the 6th of this month....*sighs and shrugs*  Times change, people change, who gives a crap anymore?  'The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills...'

I'm now going out with a wonderful girl from church, named JayCelyn.  Shes about 5'7-5'8, long blonde hair, bluish-green eyes, and... AND she loves video gaming...  It's awesome... XD!  Pretty, and shes a video gamer...  ^_^

She's 17, and already going to Webster (StL), but by the time school starts again, she'll be 18; that's still early, tho... ^_^

...For all of you who are wondering, yes, I am only 16, but age means nothing, now does it?  Don't get all perverted and junk, cuz it's nothing like that... XD

She speaks Japanese, and really enjoys Utada Hikaru's music...  Sound familiar? ^_^

OH!  She sings opera too, and does an INCREDIBLE job of it...  It's amazing...

Let's see... What else has happened since...Last time I was here...

...Not much of anything, and seeing as to how much of a boring, depressing, 'loser-life' I lead, it doesn't surprise me that not too much has actually occured...

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?  Or what about veteranarians?

Heya!  Its Lasseratims...   Got tired of my old account...

So yeah...

Not much to say...

I'm back! :-P