I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!


12:49 pm

Update.

Update. Well, things are.
perfect.
in a sense.
but not all at the same time.
that's life though.
it's complicated to an extent.
I'm watching Lords of the Dogtown right now. luvv it.
drinking sierra mist. luvv it as well.
I like a guy,
Miss another.
don't really care.ha
And i was watching smosh on youtube.com today. ha.
I love them.
I don't feel like putting more pics on here.
don't know why.
but here's my space.

http://www.myspace.com/xxpreset_promisexx

and no. x's in my sn does not make me an emo.
okay?
I was watching emo rants on youtube today && i swear it makes my brain hurt.
I didn't think people could get so stupid but here they are mumbling && stuttering while they throw people into a label that they don't understand.

Me for instance. My look screams scene, sn name crys emo, music choice says wtf are you.=]
so yea. i dunno.
i'm everything. haha so i think it's kinda stupid how everyone wants to classify certain actions or styles when they should judge people on their personality.

anyway. I think that's about it for now.

Bye.
Amanda
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4:45 pm

Tonight won't make a difference.

We spend every minute of everyday.
caught up in some mellow-dramatic reality.
or is that just me.
looking towards a future I can invision, but can't reach.
An oasis of endless failure.
I understand my actions.
But I do not recognize them.
What happened.
The girl who used to smile through good && bad.

A fake.

But at least she knew.
she knew her words were better left unspoken.
So why scream out now.
I don't know what I'm doing or why.
Who I am.
Where I am
 I wonder How it is that I can I live.
eat.
wake.
sleep.
 But barely breathe.
Barely remember.

I'm lieing to myself.
to others.
 I don't know it yet I understand.
 It's as if I have more than one me.
 One omniscient body.
 && the other ignorant.
 colliding.
they create nothing.
An empty mass that leads nowhere.

Into the depths of our mind.
 I scream out for help.
 
Yet i want none.
I can do this on my own.
 I always have.
I must.
There must be change.
But I have changed to much.
I drink.
curse
lie
steal
Yet I continue to live.
lead this lifestyle
I condone my behavior.
as a mother would treat her child
I have became my own.
taken place of what was never there.
 this unequal balance.
It drives me yet kills me.
motivates me but destroys my confidence.
And I will not change.
Through all this complaint.
I will not make the effort.
This is my fault.
My own creation.
My own hell.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe tomorrow.
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10:43 am

Whoa.

Okay. this is like a blast from the past. Haven't been here in FOREVER.

 

A lot has changed from back then. I look at my blogs && I'm like wtf? whose that. lol

 

 

Well my site now is myspace.com/xxpreset_promisexx

 

Hmm. Well, if you wanna talk then pm me or something. I'll be around from now on.

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