ODIUM's Dimension

{ Currently Listening To }-{ My Chemical Romance - "The Jetset LIfe is Gonna kill you" }

Well today was just one of those days where I should have slept it away. I went to visit my mother in the hospital expecting her to be the usual miserable self that she is..talking shit about all the nurses, and complaining about how much pain she is in..But instead I go to find her, talking incoherently - not being able to understand what she was trying to say, and what I could understand wasn't making any sense. Then I noticed she was looking at everyone as if she didn't know who we were, but then she said our names (me & my dad). Not that the fact that she knew who we were changed the fact that she seemed very child-like. At first I wasn't too worried figuring that it was the medication. So I asked the nurse what was wrong with my mother, and if she was acting the way she was because of the medication. Come to find out she refuses to take the medication they're trying to give her - so now I know that it's her condition that has caused this change in her. She has a rare disorder called Moya-Moya. I have found a website with the info that you probably want to know.. the following information is taken from. http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/moyamoya/moyamoya.htm

What is Moyamoya Disease?
Moyamoya disease is a rare, progressive cerebrovascular disorder characterized by the narrowing or occlusion of major blood vessels leading into the brain, and the formation of abnormal blood vessels called moyamoya vessels. First described in Japan in the 1960's, the disease has since been found in the United States, Europe, Australia, and Africa. It primarily affects children, adolescents, and young adults, although it has also been seen in people beyond these ages. Females are more frequently affected than males. The cause of the disease is unknown. Researchers suspect a genetic link because of the 9 percent incidence of the disease found in certain Japanese families. A gene for familial moyamoya disease has been located on chromosome 17q25 and further study of the gene may reveal the cause of the disorder. The name "moyamoya" is Japanese for "cloud of smoke" and was chosen to describe the classic appearance of the abnormal vessels seen in diagnostic tests. Children often present with stroke or recurrent transient ischemic attacks (TIAs), frequently accompanied by hemiparesis (muscular weakness or paralysis affecting one side of the body) or seizures. Adults most often experience stroke (often a hemorrhage). Both children and adults may have disturbed consciousness, speech deficits (aphasia), sensory and cognitive impairments, involuntary movements, and vision problems. Generally, cerebral angiography-a procedure that involves injecting dye into the cerebral arteries before taking an x-ray to make the arteries easier to see-is used to diagnose moyamoya diseas

There is no cure for moyamoya disease. Treatment is symptomatic and supportive. Individuals experiencing TIAs and stroke may be given aspirin, vasodilators, or anticoagulants to reduce the risk of future attacks. There are several different types of revascularization (restoration of blood supply) surgery that may be performed in some cases. Children usually respond better to revascularization surgery than adults.

Progressive deterioration of cognitive function is seen in the majority of individuals with moyamoya disease. Death usually results from intracerebral hemorrhage.

So that's what MoyaMoya is..that's what my mother has. This is the third time she has gone in for surgery for it. The first time in 1994, the second sometime in November of 2004, and then again sometime after Christmas of 2004. I don't really know whether or not she is going to get back to normal, or atleast some what normal, or if the condition will get worse. Only time will tell but from what I've seen I don't think she'll get better. I don't know if I want to see her again..atleast not in that state. I stared deep into her eyes and it was like she was a totally different person. She was only my mother in physical form. Not that my mother and I were ever really close, but whatever connection we did have - wasn't there today. I don't know if it will ever come back. So far this is the second time within 2 months that the doctors couldn't stop the bleeding in her head..if this keeps up I highly doubt she'll pull through. But either way I'm fine with it. Sure it'll take some time to get over it and to get used to it, but I'll be fine..life goes on. But I need sleep..I got shit to do today and it's 2:42 am..I'll post again soon.