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 | 6:12 am
Random Stuff No One Really Needs To Know
Random stuff...
Botch is a stupid word. Geese poop everywhere. Puke is hard to get out of carpet. Link always saves Zelda. Doom is impending. Any word sounds funny if you add a “y”. Barely anyone can spell bologne. The Wizard of Oz is over-rated. (My friends favorite.) No one really likes Spam. Dogs chew on my limbs. Zoobooks is a magazine. People eat beef. A killer whale is neither a killer or a whale. A shoe is not a baby goat. I’m a Pickle. Dolphins eat fish. Cannibals eat people. Guns don’t kill people, death kills people. No one sells fountian pens anymore. Gel pens make me shiver. People who are too friendly make me vomit slightly. If you survive death you don’t die. Homer has a crayon up his nose. Matt Stone and Trey Parker need to eat more vegetables. They are right about Barbara Streisand though. I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner. Monkeys are evil. I can’t smell anything. I didn’t know dookie could make a pie. Fleace sells, but who’s fryin’? Everything is breakable. Aliens are real. Always bite the taco, don’t eat with your nose. All slogans are propaganda. the more you eat the more you poop. Johnny always gives important information. | | 2 leave feedback(s) | rate post | report post | | 6:06 am
I know I need help now, soo much typing
School starts soon, I hope the marks on my face are gone by then. I don’t feel like being interrogated about them. Last time I got interrogated it was by the school counselor. I really don’t like social workers. They can be nice people I’m sure, but they aren’t people. It’s like talking intimately with a tape recorder. They are just so fake. It’s like they’re made of plastic they just ask questions, smile, and nod. A doll that does those things could be made. And I wouldn’t buy it. I’m better off talking to my friends. Few of the good people. I can trust them with just about everything. After watching people so much I can tell that the conselor I had didn’t want me there. It wasn’t her fault, but I could tell that either she didn’t want to be around me or she didn’t want to be there at all. I think to them it is just a job, I mean sure they want to help people, but it’s still a job. Actually I think that being able to talk to someone else in the same situation in confidence helps a hundred times more than any councelor ever could.
People need to open their minds. Why are obvious things so hard to believe? People are so ignorant it’s disgusting. Aliens are real. Now I know I just blew someone’s mind. But they have to be real. In all fairness it’s possible that they have never visited Earth. But that by no means indicates that they don’t exist.
It makes my brain twitch to think about how people think that they are the most superior beings. How can the same people who are too stupid to realize that money/ currency is the most idiotic concept on the face of the entire Earth. How long has the show Gilligan’s Island been around? The rich people are just as rich as they were before they were stranded but they were just as bad off as everyone else on that island. Money means nothing. If you had a million dollars in the forest and it wouldn’t help you survive one bit. Crap, I may have just inspired a new cheesy, day-time, reality show. I hate them. What points do they prove anyway? I was on a TV show where I had to do hard stuff and was in no real danger then I got money. That teaches a lot of morals. People live harder lives everyday and all they get for it is a kick in the pants. No cash reward. | | 1 leave feedback(s) | rate post | report post | | 6:04 am
Another Chapter
I don’t always read people clearly but those accounts are rare. People are very quick to judge me. So if you think about it I show them mercy. But I’m sure a lot of you haven’t thought about it. You are just reading the words as they appear, seeing nothing but the words themselves. And you may even be looking at them because of someone else for whatever reason. It’s disgusting when people read just so they can say that they did, even if they have no idea what they read. Not that I understand everything I read. But I try. And sometimes it takes me a while. But I try. Even though that isn’t a good excuse for failing it’s something.
I know that no one was, is, or has ever been perfect but I wish there could be someone, anyone that would prove me wrong. I hate it when I’m right. I’ve been thinking about all of the different religions. And it disappoints me that all of them seem so far from the truth. Has no one intelligent ever thought about it before? I bet they were all silenced in the violent ways that people seem so incapable of evolving out of. A person no longer has to be strong, smart, nice, or even functional to survive. And with so little toleration to pointing out faulty religion, I guess all of the realists were persecuted for their difference. Humanely I’m sure.
I’m supposed to be Christian but I don’t think about it that much. I would never been seen in a church wasting my time with blind followers who need religion to feel safe. I’ve been to church, plenty of times, but each time I see more and more of what makes this religion so stupid. The bible, that all of these people seem to follow so well, openly contradicts itself. And although Jesus was a nice guy, maybe even a Messiah, he was by no means perfect. There is no such thing. None of these people have ever even met Jesus. But I suppose they need to fall back on something to feel comfortable on this planet, or in this lifetime, or whatever you prefer. As for the afterlife, or reincarnation, or whatever else there is, I’ll think about that when it happens. I wouldn’t be surprised no matter what happens. I’m not dead so I don’t waste my time worrying.
Lately there have been other reasons for my not caring too much about whether I live or die. I don’t think I’m suicidal. By that I mean I could be but I really don’t feel like the kind of person who would spare myself to whatever there is out there. But sometimes I do things that even I think are strange, I’ve seen people do horrible things. And it doesn’t even make me think twice anymore. I think I’m wrong about this, but I was under the impression that people who did damage to themselves did it on purpose but now I’m not so sure. I guess it’s just a touchy subject. I hurt myself last night, but I had no intention of dying, or even inflicting pain. I didn’t even know until this morning. My face hurt and it even took me awhile to remember why. I just remembered I was in so much mental pain. I guess the physical pain didn’t even register on the surface of my conscious mind. | | 1 leave feedback(s) | rate post | report post | | 6:02 am
Chapter 4
Coincidentally I don’t find the idea of too much sleep appealing either. So I’m, as usual, caught in the middle. I don’t mind sleeping, but doing it too much will make you weak, numb. I avoid going to sleep early or sleeping late... But I do go to bed early, to think and write. There is a bed in here, with glowing stars on it. I like stars, they provoke thought. The ceiling has stars on it too. I have posters. Too many. It’s like they wander in here on their own. But I like them, I keep getting more. Despite the fact that I see less and less of the wall I worked so hard to paint. The wall is blue, when I moved here it was somewhat of a puke green. There is a TV which I haven’t watched in a while. Most of it is mindless drivel. More of it is repeated mindless drivel. It makes too much noise. Too many people noises. I listen to music, across from me is an MP3 player, an Ipod. It has speakers. It makes noise too, but I can select the noise and I like it.
Then there is a door, I don’t like to use the door. There is blood on the door. Fake of course, but it serves its purpose. It reminds me of what is past it. A whole lot of pain. I wish I could walk straight from my door to outside, I really like outside. But I don’t like the rest of this house. I don’t feel good there. There’s a person there. A person that’s shallow, but reflects depth. It tricked me and took part of me. I hate the two-faced. They disgust me so much more than the people who are incredibly shallow. I know you think that I’m probably some ugly little troll afraid to leave my room, but when it’s gone I come out. I go to places that are too close. I’m tired of sticking close to here. I want to just go as far as I can. Somewhere where no one knows who I am. I could go other places, I have place to go where people would welcome me. I just refuse to give up that way. I have to stay here. Stay where I know a few people who are worth the breath talking too. I like talking to them. I go to them a lot. They probably can’t stand me. But they do a really good job of hiding it if they can’t. And that’s good enough for me. They listen even if they don’t really hear me, they do a lot of listening, and that’s all I need.
I go to school most of the time. But now it’s summer so I lack things to do. School can be harder than everyone thinks it is. Adults only know that work is harder and their minds have closed to the possibility that we may have it harder than they once did. They think that no matter what happens in the advancing of technology the school curriculum stays the same. But they never had any computer classes. How many more classes will there be by the time people realize, as a whole, what a plague they are? I hate rhetorical questions. Most people don’t even try to find the answer, but I feel burdened until I find the true answer. So as I’m sure you’ve come to understand that I am sort of a perfectionist that doesn’t like perfection.
| | 0 leave feedback(s) | rate post | report post | | 5:59 am
Chapter 3 (You begin to Understand)
Okay so describing myself is taking a little longer than I expected... I’ll do what I do best and describe my surroundings. I am in a dark room. It’s 10:15 PM and I’m only looking at the glow of my laptop. Too much light disturbs me, people seek artificial lights everywhere. I don’t mind the sun, I kind of like it. Unfeeling, it seems to be unaware of the fact that it is burning things and giving people cancer. Like the people are unaware that they themselves most likely brought the cancer upon themselves by contributing in someway to this horribly inflated population. By either having more than two kids themselves or by being just plain filthy. I probably should die of some disease, I do recycle, I have no kids, but I’m sure I’ve done more than my fair share of destroying. Ignorance is not an excuse. I’m not some huge environmentalist. I merely observe that people are being a plague upon the world.
I like animals. As I sit here I am surrounded by 13 animals in this very room. (Not including myself.) 12 of them are fish but they all have personalities and names. I like watching fish, they have personalities like people, but they know when to stop, unlike people. They don’t step all over each other and double-cross each other. If they have a problem they fight to death. And they don’t fight over petty things like possessions or gossip. They fight for what matters, and I have yet to see the day when a fish losses sight of what really matters. The other creature in here is a hamster, her name, Taco. I never planned to eat her. I never will. But I like tacos and I like her. So I grouped them. I did at one point think that she was pure concentrated evil. But that time passed. Although she does still spend all of her free time denying me sleep.
| | 0 leave feedback(s) | rate post | report post | | 5:57 am
The 2nd Chapter
I’m sure by now your mind is starting to try to figure out what kind of person I am. Get a picture so that you can think you know me. So you will feel like you understand what I am talking about. But it would be so truly that, a thought and nothing more, to anyone but yourself. Hopefully you have already come to the conclusion that I am an observer. Perhaps a philosopher, if there’s such a thing. And that this feature leaves me with a lack of communication. I’m not exactly the social butterfly. I can have a conversation with someone, but I would prefer to watch them. Not in a sick stalker know-thy-victim sort of way. I like to look at people and try to see if they will accept me before I talk to them. A good example would be a person looking at the depth numbers on the side of the pool before they get in. The person who reads these numbers knows whether they should slide in the pool gently or do a swan dive. Looking at the numbers prevents you from being cut or injured in the shallowness, and from drowning in the depth. Sadly people don’t walk around with numbers on them, so it may take a while to see how deep, or incredibly shallow they truly are.
| | 0 leave feedback(s) | rate post | report post | | 5:54 am
The Beginning of the Truth
I feel like I can’t breathe. But yet I lack suffocation. I’m only taking in water, but I’m not drowning. It’s like a bad dream. But I’ve been waiting to wake up for far too long. I have to do something, something permanent, something that won’t blow over. I hate it when things just blow over. No one wants to face problems, they live day to day and act like nothing will ever penetrate their little minds. Nothing will change their world. After a certain age the human mind lacks openness, stops supporting chance. Even the most open-minded people think opinions and no matter what happens most of those opinions will never change. It’s in human nature to form opinions. There are people that still believe Elvis is alive. There is no proof, and someone like Elvis doesn’t disappear for publicity. But no one can change those peoples’ minds. I’m sure that the thickness of mind comes from the fact that those with weaker, less sure, or clashing minds have tried to invade their space, their frame of mind, too often. Those of our race that are less honest, cheaters and tricksters, if you will, have gone out of their way to tear apart the fragments of the children and the childish. Therefore the mind, after a while, will inevitably block out everything that it can’t find for itself. This is a protection as much as it is a destruction. Unfortunately the destructive qualities are blocked out until it is bound to be an unstoppable charge sitting in the person’s very skull. A charge that may explode without warning at any given time. | | 0 leave feedback(s) | rate post | report post |  | 3:39 am
Z?
I guess for my first blog it would be appropriate to mention some things about myself. I really like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac by Jhonen Vasquez. I think by now I've memorized every line but that just proves that it's easy for me to remember what I read. My favorite shows are Invader Zim, Inuyasha, and South Park. I can't help but wonder how my favorite characters are Nny and Miroku. They are practically opposites. A traveling monk and a basement dwelling homicidal maniac. But they do both see things better than most people. My favorite color is blue, my favorite songs are Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park, My Last Breath By Evanescence, and Let's Do This Now By Korn. I tremendously lack common sence and calling me smooth would be an earth shattering lie. I drop stuff and I trip over stuff. Sometimes I drop stuff then trip over it. I don't like people until they give me a reason to. And that has worked for me so far. Dealing with people is a generally unpleasant experience. But there are nice people. Unfortunatly they mostly stay clear of people like me. I don't enjoy life nearly as much as I used to but I just suck it up and keep on going. I don't want to die, I just don't want to live either. It hurts so bad. | | 4 leave feedback(s) | rate post | report post |
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