Well... I see we have all survived the ides of march. Nice work. I was thinking the other day about the future and what it has in store. How many more months will we be on on top of the world? When does this reality cease to exist and a new one come into existance? I think if I could tell the future I wouldn't. If you could I don't think you would like it. I think that people should be more content with the life they have created for themselves.

But... how can one be sure that the life they live is a product of themselves and not outside influence? I think everyone is a product of others. The government restricts the person that is created; your parents restrict your actions, thoughts and beliefs. Even if you rebel against them, it is only because of the rules they try to impose. If there is a god then you are a product of something you can't even see.

What if there is something bigger? What if we are always walking under the guided light of a being so powerful that some people choose to deny its existance? Or maybe there isn't; maybe we are right to question.

I think people should question everything. We should take nothing as truth, we should strive to find our own truth. But with this comes a lack of trust and we should all find someone we can trust...

There has to be a healthy balance.

Let's find a healthy balance.

Maybe I'm just talking out my ass today.

Sorry.

Don't read this.

I guess it's already too late.

But don't believe everything on first glance.

And beware the Ides of March.

((andrea))

Read House of Leaves.

The title says it all.

About three months ago my sister, my father, and I requested my mom get her hearing checked. You see she always talks in our breeze-way, and my room is on the other end of the house. Often, I would be awaken to the sound of her yelling on the phone. We all thought it was because she could not properly hear herself. Also we found ourselves having to repeat ourselves many times. I said repeat ...oh you got me. In fact, the only thing that disproved our theory that she was deaf was the volume she put the music on in the car: very, very quiet.

Well like I said, three months ago we asked her to get her hearing checked. Nothing was wrong with her hearing!! It turns out she just ignores us and likes to talk loud. Perhaps it is her family that is crazy, not that she is crazy. I love my mom. Sometimes she just is swiming in water she can't touch down in. My mom, like me, cannot swim. We all have our faults.

What reminded me of this piece of history was the fact that my mom completely tricked my boyfriend into believing she couldn't hear a word she said. It was pretty gosh darn funny... and I think its official that I have lost my marbles.

And so I say... Enjoy the Apocalypse!

((andrea))

Sometimes I feel as though I am walking down an unknown road. It's nothing more than a dirt path really, lined with barbed wire and green fields stretching endlessly beyond that. These are the dreams that will never be, and there are snakes hidden in the grass and sometimes they slither across the path. When I walk sometimes I stumble but the dim light of the moon always guides me back. This subtle guidance is perfect, not too harsh as the sun would be, but friendly and constant. Perhaps its my mom.

One never knows what this life has in store but I think at the end of this road will be some good opertunities. I think some people see no barbed wire, and some walk more quickly to the end of the road, but I just meander the beaten path, sometimes exploring the ditches to the side of the road. Mostly I just wonder about the end of it.

((andrea))

The Fish

The fish hangs

in the heavy breath of water

swelling.

We laid many traps

drifting carefully downstream.

That night I felt her,

slow and heavy on the line.

We took her out in the dark

holding her tight by the hair,

not noticing her hard scales

like old armor,

and hurrying back

shouting our trophy-

"What a great fish we have caught!"

And I saw by the light that double life

flopping and gasping by the fire

with two human eyes.

Stunned,

I watched

while they began

with a knife

to scrape off those

great silver scales.

-Joe Survant

A very thought provoking piece of literature... if I do say so myself, and I do.

((andrea))

Well... so far in this work of ...art? I have covered a lot of things that I think about, but now I have been persuaded to write about an actual event!! This is something that has changed my life, so I guess even though it may not be easy to relate to because of specifics, it is a good story, filled with tragity, anguish, hope, and even some laughs.

Sound good??!

While reading this I suggest listening to Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd... it will put you in the right mindset.

It goes like this...

It all began one winter day when there was a cold sun beating down on the small town of Georgetown. A young man embarked on a liberating journey to free himself from a pair of Bush supporting, controling, and not the slightest bit reasonable parents. His name was Antonio and he had a plan of action that was fool proof... or so he thought. What proceeded to  happen was not anticipated, and no one involved thought it would ever go as far as it did.

He simply took his savings out of his account, which he had rightfully earned, packed up his drumset and moved into his singer's house. He lived there for all of four days, in which he learned a lot about himself, and how great life could be without constantly being told "no". He found the freedom that he deserved, and this should be the end of the story.

It's not... but what did you expect??!

Although he never stole or lied to his parents about this, they called the cops on him claiming that the money he took was his step fathers, along with the drumset. Because he was still going to school, determined to graduate at the end of the year, his parents simply went to school and found him. He runs fast however, and they didn't catch him. Their next step in the plan was to go to his singer's house and arrest him for harboring a run away.

While Antonio sat under a bridge with no where to go, he pondered the complexities of life. When three of his best friends pulled up he was overjoyed and overcome with sadness. They sat and talked and enjoyed each others company for about an hour before submitting to the law and going back to Antonio's parent's house. His father was there, much to everyone's suprise, and he was taken hastily to Florida where he is currently resigning.

Although everyone here misses him, and likewise for him, we have all learned a lot from this adventure. Firstly, we realized how much he means to all of us. Second, we realized that we all might not be here forever, and we have learned not to take each other for granted. Thirdly, we are beginning to understand just how long four months really is.

For Antonio however, being exiled to Florida isn't something he regrets completely. He learned a lot from the whole experiance, and when he comes back will be better prepared to be on his own again. He is in a better mindset, and when he gets back I don't think there will be many dull moments.

Because I miss him... and I'm going to make sure of it.

Well, thats all the story for now, but if you are really interested, I'll write a conclusion to this epic tale.

((andrea))

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